What can I say? I LUV banana bread! Can’t get enough of it!
And after a period of time NOT having banana bread, then coming back for a slice (or five)… I… I can’t properly describe the emotional significance of biting into the moist, cake-like texture of what is, essentially, mashed banana! Thankfully, this illo (c.2014) is a testament to said unsaid description:
When enjoying banana bread, experts recommend wearing knee-high Lederhosen at all times.
Hi.
Back in 2012, upon hearing Mr. Lucas sold his company off to Disney Inc. - and the later news J.J. Abrams spearheading a continuation of the Star Wars saga - my initial thoughts were:
Why? Surely Mr. Lucas doesn’t need MORE money, no?
Will Disney Inc. leave Mr. Lucas’ “Star Wars” legacy untouched?
Abrams is a capable storyteller. I mean, look at the unbelievably great treatment he did reimagining the “Star Trek” universe! How could anyone of that stature - and a true “Star Wars” fan, mind you - ever, EVER go wrong?
Well, in this humble doodling hack’s opinion, HE DID! So horribly, awfully WROOOOOONG!!!
However, in the innocent speculative year prior to “The Force Awakens”’ release, I was damn excited.
Abrams’ 2009 “Star Trek” and the one after that were awesome!
His produced ABC’s “Lost” series was frickin’ brilliant! And, yes, that even applies to the final episode (a lot of people sincerely disagree with me, but they’re stupid poo-poo heads).
Aaaaanyway, I’m going way off the grid with this post…. let me steer back into the lane….
…. so, when it was announced the next “Star Wars” film’s title would be “The Force Awakens”, my Starlogesque-cartoonist brain started churning (for the first time since 2009) and ***BOOM!*** I sketched-up and facebook-posted this lovely piece of Starloggy gaggery:
Signed as “Big Bad Bubba Junior” - an amended callout to my 1st actual Starlog Magazine pseudonym (“Big Bad Bubba”).
Months later, there were rumors of the film’s production being delayed that could’ve pushed out the release date (it wasn’t true because… the internet!)… so I gave birth to another squishy gag:
Sidenote: 2015 came. The movie had just come out. I got my “The Force Awakens” tickets a week after general release (the waiting list was long, I remember). I got a primo seat. The theater darkened. I read the “Star Wars” intro crawl and …
… and…
…. well, I won’t lie to you…. HATED IT! The plotline was nothing grand, the characters’ motivation were idiotic & annoying, the pacing was irritatingly simple-minded… sooooo, I walked out ¾ the way through. My only regret was:
I wish I’d walked out way sooner!!!
To quote wikipedia’s entry on Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy’s Marvin, The Paranoid Android:
Marvin is afflicted with severe depression and boredom, in part because he has a "brain the size of a planet" which he is seldom, if ever, given the chance to use.
Thank goodness the 2005 film version of Marvin had a spherical head, perfect for some kind of planet gag!
Penned as “big Bad Bubba” - c.2005 - back before changing to ”Bort”.
Morpheus - a man who believes in two things:
the One will eventually fulfill the prophecy, saving Zion;
a sharpened pencil leads to a sharpened mind.*
* ugh...terrible,bort.just terrible.
Yes, that wretched eyesore below is another old Starlog gag of mine (c.1999).
Behold! Battlestar Galactica toons!
These are, I think, ALL the BSG gags I did for Starlog over the years. there actually may be many more - I can’t recall every gag I did. Anyone having more-than-enough free time can browse every Starlog mag online from 1998 to 2009… please, let me know if you find a BSG-related gag that should belong here.
This post was inspired by a random Battlestar Galactica-referenced facebook post by Jim Cutler (you may recognize his voice over promos from MSNBC, Discovery Channel, et al).
Anyhoo, if your stomach can handle it, please enjoy the following:
Ahh, it’s that time of year I draw up a special German-themed birthday doodle for my favorite mom (of my fan/friend in New Jersey)(#adoptedmominnutley), continuing on with the in-joke previously mentioned here.
This time, the painfully German traditionalistic eccentricities of this one are coupled with the whole Covid-19 brouhaha we’re all in together at this time.
I ran out of those nifty slip-on PPE things you put on my feet… so I had to make do with discarded Wonder Bread bags.
Yeah… well… I had to doodle something… sooooo… enjoy:
As part of my mid-to-late-2009 personal deliberation, months after returning from a memorable 10-day expedition to the US (Nutley, NJ, to be exact) and brainstorming ways to make big wads of cash on the side in order to fly back there! I had nothing to sell, no savings, and let’s not forget the 2008/09 financial collapse (and keeping my job was up-in-the-air)… no chance of a sudden lottery win, I’m sure (although, I’d hoped. Boy, did I hope!). So, what am I to do?
Here’s just one loony idea I seriously thought I could master: iPhones were a new thing at that time - why not learn about app development, create an app, make money selling that app, and live high on the hog? Easy, I’m sure. Turns out… NO! IT’S NOT! YOU IDIOT!
I then turned to finding ways to monopolise skills I’d honed over the years… Starlog Magazine had folded (so, cash for my cartoons was out)… somehow, the idea of drawing people’s pets was floated by my fan/friend in NJ (to whom was a veterinary technician).
Long story short, the below painting was THE first Kitty Kature (yes, THAT was I called them)(patent [not]pending).
And here are a couple more. I signed these with my alternate pseudonym “furbawl”.
There are a few more, I’m sure, lurking away in a dusty hard drive somewhere in the closet. I remember drawing up dogs… anyways, I find ‘em, I’ll add them to this post
Here’s some stuff I did several years ago for a E-Learning app thingy, aimed at young wippersnappers and scholastic dingdongs.
Focus.
Inspire.
Teach.
Connect.
Encourage.
Podium (female option).
Podium (male version).
The below B/W illos were a later extension of the same job. The crucial difference between the above and the below were:
I got paid for the colored illos;
I didn’t get paid for the B/W illos (i.e. I invoiced, but never received a check).
Here are selected preliminary roughs/sketches. These drafts are what clients usually sees to better understand the illustrator’s interpretation of their assigned brief (which, in most cases, is as rough as the illo roughs!). It’s raw! THAT’S what I like about ‘em.
I was notified by email from work that I have been with the company for FIVE years!
And so, I replied in kind with this:
Prior to quickly doodling/coloring and sending this illo off, the original pencil rough had me walking in a solo parade on a bleak-looking day (re:puddles) with one paid spectator asleep in the empty bleachers. But I had other things to do, so it’s just me and the puddles.
The work email further mentioned I’d be getting a $150 voucher from a retailer of my choosing. And a certificate! Whoa! I’m sooooo excited (#sarcasm).
I again replied, asking if they’d instead donate the $150 to the local animal shelter (RSPCA).
I added they may donate the certificate as well… I’m sure it’d be put to good use at the bottom of an injured parrot’s birdcage… I quickly drew that up too.
Below are a few illos drawn up years ago for Australia’s RSPCA’s style guide.
I don’t think these, or any of the other RSPCA illos not seen here, ever saw the retail light of day … #storyofmylife .
Circa 1999, from Starlog Magazine #268 (pg.10) is one of a number of Matrix gags I did at the time. Being decades old, how Cousin Itt* came to mind when doodling Matrix cartoon ideas is a head scratcher… I might’ve heard a discussion on radio about Itt, something along the lines of “… and all he is is a gigantic sentient fur ball…” So, being completely devoid of a central nervous system, Cousin Itt would naturally be immune to the machine world.
* As I learned afterwards, and recently relearned, in the gagline I’d spelt “Cousin It” with only one “T” - coinesseurs of Addams Family will point out the correct spelling is “Cousin Itt”.
From the (poorly scanned) pages of Starlog Magazine #268 (pg. 22 to be accurate) comes a “crossing the streams” gag - where one universe merges somewhat with another.
In this case, it's Vader sporting a new life support control box in the form of Dr. Theopolis from Buck Rogers In The 25th Century (Universal, 1979-1981). And thus, Vader's trademark breathing sound now sounds a lot like Twiki.
FYI: from 1998, my pen name for my gags was "B.B.B." (Big Bad Bubba) until 2006 when my BortQ. pseudonym took over.
An old Starlog Magazine cartoon of mine - circe 1999 - a personal favorite.
When Phantom Menace hit the theatre over two decades ago (#yikes!), Darth Maul - despite not having enough screen presence than the character deserved (oh, but, by all means, let’s give more time and “dialogue” to that fuckstick JarJar! [#sarcasm]) - by gum, he was a wealth of gag material.
Back at work for only a week (#covid19)(#lockdown)(#socialdistancing), I had to take some annual leave in order to be paid 100% of my regular salary (it’s a complicated accounting thingy). And it’s compulsory to let the company know when you go on annual leave/vacation/et al, generally by email.
So I emailed this as I walked out last night.
Poor ol’ Licensing Lady broke a toe or two at home.
In recovery, she requested a illo of a big toe.
So, with notepad at hand, I gave her a big toe on a (thumb) pike.
Sure, everybody loves to post “May The Fourth Be With You” via the tweety (on May The 4th) to acknowledge STAR WARS Day - if there’s such a thing - but what about the day after?
Got word from the boss: "Back to work on Monday!"
Huh... after only 30 days working from home, I sorta banked on this whole isolation thing to last a couple of months more...
When there are too many space-travellin’ scoundrels, self-preservation helps thin out the herd.
Yes, Lando’s talky-talk balloon is a glaringly obvious “Highlander” parody.